WOMEN

1. Does he have a relationship with God? If so, is it a good one? People marry
because of love. Since God is love, great relationships start with Him. Your future
husband’s lifestyle should ditto God’s way of doing things. Man was created to
spend time with God, on a daily basis. Notice I didn’t ask, “Does he go to church.”
Does he have a relationship with God is the question at hand. This means, does
he take the time to find out what God likes, how He speaks, and what He expects.
If he knows how to love and please God, then he’ll competently do the same for
you.

2. Does he have a job? This is a simple one. If you don’t work, you don’t eat.

3. Is he a tither? For those that don’t know, a tithe is 10% of your increase.
Meaning, if you get a check for $1000, your tithe is $100. Think of it as an
insurance policy. When you pay your premium, you’re covered in case of an
accident. When you stop paying, you’re not covered, regardless of what your
insurance card may say in your glove compartment. When you consistently pay
your tithe with a cheerful heart, God promises to slap satan’s hand off of your life!
This is the beginning of living “drama-free”. Ladies, if he’s too stingy to give God a
dime off the dollar, he definitely can’t be trusted to pay the bills on time.    Don’t
just take my word on it, dig deeper: Genesis 14:20; Numbers 18:25-28, Numbers
18:20-21, Deuteronomy 12:5-7, 2 Chronicles 31:4-6, Nehemiah 13: 3-5, Malachi 3:
8-11, Hebrews 7:4-6,17.

4. How does he treat his mother? The best example of how he’ll respect and
treat you is to watch how he honors his own mother.

5. Does he respect authority? In this case, the authority I’m referring to is his
Pastor. If he does not have a Pastor, your engagement should definitely be put on
hold until he knows where God wants him to get his knowledge and
understanding (meaning establishing church membership). It’s also very
important for both of you to attend the same church. This is how you remain on the
same page. When he trusts the Pastor that is in place to hear from God on your
behalf, it will be easy to follow him as your husband. This is one of the main
ingredients to a peaceful and prosperous marriage.

6. What are his short-term and long-term goals? Even if he is a Christian, take
the time to have lengthy conversations.  Especially in the areas of family, lifestyle,
money and the future. It’s essential to clearly understand who you’re marrying and
what you’ll be helping him do.

Does he want to live in the city or the country? Does he want 2 children or 7
children? Does he even like children? Find out before you get married if this is the
person you want to submit your life to. After you say “I do”, it’s a done deal.

7. Would you stay with him if he were 20-30 lbs heavier? Ladies, physical
appearance is very important. However, don’t marry solely for his tight abs,
sculptured back, or firm calves. Ten years from now, if his physique isn’t up to par,
you want to still be in love with him for who he is.

8. How does he respond under pressure? If he’s having a bad day, everyone
around him doesn’t need to experience one too.

9. Can he forgive and not hold grudges? In a marriage, there will be many
opportunities for you to forgive each other. Whether it was the way you made a
comment or a habit you need to correct. Assess his ability to forgive, forget, and
move on like it never happened.

10. Has he ever been a victim of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse? If so,
these are definitely occurrences you do not want passed into your marriage.
Before you say I do, it’s important for him to confront and conquer it by spending
time with God and word-based counseling. After this, you will be able to move
forward and have the family that was always predestined for you.
MEN

1. What kind of relationship does she have with God? Women must also have a
solid relationship with God. As the first teacher to your future children, you want to
know that the woman you have asked to be your wife clearly hears from God. As
mentioned earlier, man was created to spend time with God on a daily basis. Again,
I didn’t ask, “Does she go to church.” Does she have a relationship with God is still
the question at hand. This means, does she take the time to find out what God likes,
how He speaks, and what He expects. If she knows how to love and please God,
then she’ll competently do the same for you.

2. Is she a tither? It’s valuable for women to bring financial stability to the table too.
Make sure you’re marrying a giving person, especially in the area of finances. Refer
to #3 in the women’s section for more specific details on tithing.

3. Does she respect authority? In this case, the authority I’m referring to is her
Pastor. If she criticizes him or doesn’t give him the respect he deserves as the head
of the House of God, she it not equipped to respect you as the future head of the
household.

4. What are her short-term and long-term goals? Your prospective bride-to-be
should have set goals for her life. Is she ambitious or lazy? Can she see herself in a
higher tax bracket? If so, what’s her plan for getting there?  Her goals should flow
and fit in with yours. As the husband and head of the house, your role is to lead,
guide, provide and take all the blame. If your family is wealthy and peaceful, it’s
because of you. If the family struggles, it’s because of you. You determine the
destiny of your family. Make sure the woman you’re considering is willing to assist
you to ensure that both of your goals are effectively achieved.

Even if she is a Christian, take the time to have lengthy conversations.  Especially in
the areas of family, lifestyle, money and the future.

5. Does she cook and clean? This is an elementary role of the wife. The woman you
have in mind should make the home a pleasant place to come to. If you like home
cooked meals, find out if she knows how to prepare them. If not, she can get a
cookbook or ask for help learning how. If you both live high maintenance lifestyles,
she can hire a housekeeper or a chef. She should be willing to do whatever it takes
to create an atmosphere of serenity at home.

6. Would you stay with her if she were 20-30 lbs heavier? Men, don’t just marry her
for her “coca-cola” shape. One day that “coca-cola” may turn into a  “2-liter,” then
what? Marry her because you sincerely love her. Yes, she should do all she can to
make sure she stays in shape to please you and herself. Just make sure that’s not
the only reason for asking for her hand in marriage.

7. Can she forgive and not hold grudges? Refer to #9 in the women’s section. The
same guidelines apply for men and women.

8. Does she talk a lot? Gentlemen, it’s profitable to you for your future wife not to be
a chatterbox. You don’t want the likelihood of your personal family concerns being all
over the city just because your wife wants to express herself to others. Observe her
now, before you pop the question.

9.  Is she “one of the girls”? Another area to examine is if she hangs with the
crowd. You want a queen that is set aside, different from everyone else. When she’s
set aside, she is in position to receive her king. However, if she’s still always with
“the clique”, she’s more likely to share things with them that you would have
preferred to stay between the two of you. Anything special is always rare and
distinguished. These are valuable traits of a true queen you should look for.

10. Has she ever been a victim of verbal, physical, or sexual abuse? Refer to #10
in the women’s section. The same guidelines apply for men and women.
How do you know if the person you’re with is “the one?” Every man and woman asks this question at some point in their life.  Is it because of his dimples, bank account or
morally correct attitude? Is it because you’ve been with her so long you may as well “just do it?”  Here are a few guidelines you can use to determine if you’ve found “the one”.


Did these few tips help? You may have more of your own. Everyone should have
the knowledge it takes to have a healthy marriage that lasts forever. There is no
perfect spouse, but you can have the spouse that's perfect for you.
10 Ways to Know If He or She Is 'The One'
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